I found out yesterday that I won’t be going to the U of M for Nursing school next year. After a friend texted me saying she got an interview and asking if I had heard anything yet, I got an email saying that they “regret to inform” me that I would not be granted an interview. I got the email after Developmental Biology. I was able to hold in the tears until everyone else had left class and I could talk to Dr. Winslow.
It reminded me of when I applied to be an RA. I had talked myself into not wanting to get the job, but still hoping for it. When I found out that I didn’t get it, I was relieved but disappointed. This time I was disappointed but somewhat relieved. While the two instances are similar for me, my reaction to the rejection shows me how much God has changed me over the past 2 years. When I didn’t get the RA position, the first thought that crossed my mind was that I wasn’t good enough for it. My first thought yesterday was, “Ok God, I guess that’s not what You had in mind, but I know You have something better for me in store.”
I can’t really even explain the tears. I know I needed to cry, but honestly, I was okay with not being accepted, even at that point. I had hoped and “planned” to go to U of M next year. My future was back to being up in the air again. But I am honestly so excited about the future right now. It doesn’t scare me, even though we’ll be out of college and really on our own for the first time. I guess it’s the joy that I find in knowing that God has a plan for my life. Ok, so I’m not going to the only nursing school I applied to. But obviously that’s not where God wants me right now. I have the potential to start working full time next fall, so unless God directs me differently, I have a general idea of where I may be. But I’m flexible. I know that God will direct my steps. He has so far (I’ll post more on that later).
