So close

I leave in less than 48 hours. 41 1/2 hours, actually. Not that I'm counting.

I've been counting down since December - the countdown started at 176 days. I celebrated when it got to double digits. And now I'm down to counting hours.

Last night I was packing (I still can't believe I'm so ahead of my normal travel schedule). When I closed my suitcase up and weighed it for the final time (I had to do a bit of reorganizing), I turned to my roommate and told her I was ready to go and just wanted to leave in the morning - I didn't want to wait another two days.

I'm ready for another adventure. Even though I've been on a Susie Mag/Big World Ventures trip before and know what the general format of the trip, I don't really know what to expect. And part of that is I'm trying to convince myself not to expect too much. My trip to Peru in 2006 with Brio Magazine was such a life-changing experience. I want that again. I know it will happen again. But it will be completely different. I need to be prepared for it.

The problem is that I don't feel prepared. For any of it. I sometimes feel like a failure because I haven't prayed enough in preparation for the trip. I had grand plans of praying for each and every one of the students and leaders on my team (39 people, including myself). That has yet to happen. But I still have 41 hours, right? I know what I want to say in my seminar, but I don't feel qualified. But then I was reminded of the saying "God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called." He's given me the resources, and I've been trying to pray for His wisdom and leadership as I prepare.

But I have the day off from work today (it's too cold for most people to think about swimming in an outdoor pool), so I'm spending some time with God and continuing to prepare for this trip and what He has planned for everyone. And I know that even if I don't necessarily feel as though I'm prepared, I know that He has been working over the past several months to get me ready for what He has planned - even if it doesn't seem like it right now.